I know I certainly needed a push! A push right out of my wallowing over my headaches. A push to motivate me to do that which I am supposed to do. A push in the right direction, at the right moment with just the right amount of TLC. I have not been myself for quite some time. My energy level has been practically non-existent. My motivation has been lax. The normal encouraging of others that I typically enjoy offering had waned. My workouts suffered, when and if I even decided to do them. My writing projects had been set aside, podcast put on the back burner, and my devotion time sporadic, at best.
God is using so many people to bring me back to life, and yesterday there was a reality check, a nudge and then a big push! Here is how it happened, if you are interested, read on.
A couple of folks at church yesterday asked me how I was doing. My answer surprised them, and it even surprised me ... and scared me a bit perhaps. "Empty, feeling void!" Not a typical answer ... and not a good state of mind, and talk about putting friends on the spot ... how do you react to an answer like that? Well, they were, of course supportive!
Then after the end of second service, I headed off stage (after singing) toward the back to grab my purse and head out. One of the younger women in our congregation caught up with me and said she had just seen on FB the night before that I had a blog and noticed its name: "Purposeful Living." She confessed she hadn't actually read it yet, but has heard me share messages before, etc., and wanted to know if I would host an information booth for an upcoming women's conference she is helping to coordinate. She needed someone to talk about life balance, and especially integrating faith into the balance. I sorta chuckled, because lately, I have felt more out of balance, than in ... so who am I to instruct others?! Told her I would check my schedule, pray about it and let her know. This was the nudge!
Came home and changed, went to Snap for a really weak workout, moped around the house after, then went to the office to work for a bit. Decided to go see movie, "The Help." Afterwards, I went and walked around Shopko for a bit, then back to the office and then home. Ate a Twix, complete with guilt, in the car after just having had popcorn at the movie.When I walked in the house Mike greeted me and asked about the movie. Told him it was a great story, wonderfully written, acted and told, yet I was moping. He knew what I was thinking ... so he said it.
"Lisa, you have a story to tell, too, and it's time you get it done!" His voice was forceful, but not mean. "You have to get rid of all the other noise and get focused. Stop sitting on the couch in the evenings with me watching tv shows that you don't even like. Get your current writing assignments done and turned in. Clear your plate of all the projects you have that are holding you back." Then he walked from the kitchen where we were standing, to my home office. Turned on the light, looked at the piles of papers, books, boxes, bags, etc. Turned the light off and came back to me in the kitchen and continued. I was already crying like a baby, tears streaming down my face. "That mess is an excuse. Get boxes and pack it all up. Do NOT sort it. Box it! Stack it! Clean off the desk and WRITE! You can sort it after you are done with the book. There is no reason for you to be this miserable. You have stories in that head and heart of yours that need to be told. And you have the talent to do it!" I was crying more. He continued. "I love you, and you need to tell Jane's story first. And you need to do it now, not to have a published book. Not to make money. Do it for Jane and her family/friends. If you don't get it published, that's OK. You have let the re-writing of the proposal part get in the way of finishing the actual book! If you don't do it and something were to happen to Jane, you would never forgive yourself. Get it done!!" And there it was ... the push!!
And I have not felt so free in months and months. I needed someone to lovingly raise a voice and tell me to get my butt in gear. I needed someone to tell me to quit wallowing and get writing. So, here I am ... writing a new blog post! Did some writing on my assignments earlier. Had the best workout I have had in months ... feeling renewed and re-energized!
So, Elizabeth Miller ... thanks for the nudge! I would be happy to be available for your group! Mike ... I love you so much ... thanks for the push! You know me well ... thank you for loving me enough to "push" me in the right direction!
All, ready or not ... I AM BACK!!!!
Blessings,
Lisa
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