Weather & Moods ...

Both can change so quickly and are often unpredictable. This morning I got up and was in a fantastic mood ... was at church by 7 a.m. like usual, did my regular "housekeeping" things ... put out the offering plates, the bulletins, the announcement and then warmed up with the band for the contemporary services. I was in such a good mood. It was a little cloudy out, but not bad for a spring day. About midway through the second service, thunder started rumbling in the distance and rain started to sprinke. By the beginning of the second service, the thunder was louder, lightning flashed every once in a while and the rain was pouring. My mood became darker as the weather changed ... and for no apparent reason. By the time third service rolled around the thunder rolled even louder and the rain came down much harder and more steadily. By the time I got home, I was feeling down ... extremely tired ... couldn't keep my eyes open.

Mike kept asking if I was ok; suggested I go lie down and take a nap (rather than having my head nod back and forth and my neck jerk each time I dozed.) I said "No!" About a half hour later I gave in ... went to bed and slept for about two hours, I think. I must have needed it. When I awoke, the clouds were gone from the sky ... the sun is now shining ... the wind is still blowing but it's warmer. My mood ... still not so full of sunshine, but not all out terrible either. Just a bit cloudy, I guess. I hate simply sitting around, yet, I can't seem to make myself do anything. So frustrating. Tomorrow I'll be out shopping with a friend ... helping her pick out clothes for a trip she is getting ready to go on for work. Should be a fun and active day!

Today, we'll be grilling out for dinner ... I put all the trimmings together last night ... potato salad, pasta salad and deviled eggs. Mike is grilling pork loins. I'll probably sit outside while he grills ... get some fresh air ... maybe some fresh perspective!

Friendship ...

Friendship. Connections. Bonds. So important!! Over the last couple of weeks I have been reminded of that. Two weeks ago I got a phone call at the office, completely out of the blue ... my friend Rita! And not just my friend ... she was the Maid of Honor at mine and Mike's wedding! We haven't seen each other or talked in years. She moved a few hours away. She receives the magazine that I work for .. saw my byline and called me! It was such a wonderful surprise : )

Then last Sunday, another friend hosted a wedding shower for her daughter ... we used to work together and our families spent every other Thanksgiving together eating, watching the big game and then staying up 'til midnight playing Pictionary. I stay so busy that I didn't realize how much I missed those times. So, the plan is to get together more often ... go out for lunch ... have the families spend some time together!

Last night I went to dinner with three women I used to work with ... it's just so good to reconnect!

Just got an e-mail today from a friend who moved away not too long ago. I miss him alot! He was part of our praise band and our little group who goes out on Wednesday nights to play video golf and photo hunt.

Getting busy, moving away, life ... nothing should get in the way of friendship ... I'm going to work harder to stay connected!! Friendships are so important!! I hope all your relationships are well connected!!

WooHoo ... He's Coaching the Cavaliers!

Life is good!! Mike is the new Head Basketball Coach for the Carlinville Cavaliers, and will be teaching, too. PE and Driver's Ed, we think. He will be taking the Driver's Ed certification course this summer. Monday he goes to complete all the paper work and will meet his players! He's (we're) so excited!!

Some of his Routt students are still upset that he won't be back ... especially his players. He said they were asking him today when the Jacksonville Journal Courier would do the story on his new job ... they didn't understand that he is no longer news in the Jacksonville area, and that there likely wouldn'tbe a follow-up story. It's so cool that he has made such a positive impact on these kids ... and he really did have a good experience overall at Routt! We'll always be thankful that he started his high school teaching/coaching career there.

Enough rambling ... life is good!!

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm sitting here reflecting on being a Mom/Stepmom ... what an awesome responsibility and privilege and challenge ... all rolled into one.

The Mom part ... Kristian is my treasure ... she is beautiful, smart, funny and strong-willed! I am amazed every day at the young woman she has become. She is very independent and has her own views on life. I think that is a good thing, even though I may not always agree with her thoughts. I don't usually worry about her in that area ... I think she can hold her own, and will always be able to take care of herself. She does tend to like to be alone ... I worry about that sometimes ... it doesn't seem to be necessary for her to be surrounded by people ... as it seems to be for me. In that respect, she is more like her Daddy ... he is perfectly fine being on his own or just hanging with me and/or the kids. She is comfortable in her own skin and doesn't seem to need approval from the world like so many other teenagers, especially teenage girls. Often times, I wish I was more like her!! I am honored that God chose to provide me (and Mike) with the gift of her life ... I wouldn't trade that privilege for anything in the world!!!

Megan is my oldest ... my stepdaughter. Kristian is like her in many ways ... independent thinkers those girls! Megan has always had her own way of living life. A bit unconventional, perhaps. She was my first daughter, 8 years old when I came into her life, and I have always loved her as if she were my own. Sometimes that is one of the hardest things, because there have been times when I feel very selfish and just want her to be my daughter. Of her and Zach, Megan has always made it clear to me that she loves me, but also, that I am her stepmom ... never, ever has she meant it in a negative way, though. I love the person she has become ... strong, ambitious, and completely in charge of her life. She has set her sights high, and every day is achieving them. She is a beautiful artist ... always expressing herself ... and she has so many sides ... that she is willing to share. I've seen her cry, I've held her when she has. I've seen her scared and angry, and have been there for her to lean on; I've seen her excited, happy and even silly and in all her moods I love her! Again, someone that sometimes I wish I was more like!

Zachary is and always will be my baby boy! He was only 5 when I came into the picture. His blonde, shaggy hair & brown eyes stole my heart the first time I laid eyes on him. Adorable! We have probably butted heads more times than the girls and I have ... Mike has always said it's because Zach and I are soooooo much alike that it's sometimes scary. Both sensitive, both taking everything to heart and very personally, both caring about everyone else and how they feel. Zach always made me feel extra special as a Mom when he was growing up, and probably didn't even know it. He made sure I always had something on Mother's Day ... I remember one year he made me black and red (my favorite colors) tissue paper flowers and left them for me with a card ... "Even though I won't be home on Mother's Day, remember that I love you." I still have the card! (He went to his Mother's every other weekend ... though lived with us the rest of the time ... Mike had custody of the kids) He was so upset one year because Kristian, in all of her 4- year-old wisdom said to him "She isn't your real Mom!" I came up the stairs ... Kristian looking smug and Zach looking hurt. I just looked at them and said ... "You will always be my son, no matter how we were brought together, and I love all of my kids the same!" And I meant it! Still do! Zachary, not knowing it, again gave me a precious gift for Mother's Day. He was going to a graduation party last night, came over early in the afternoon, and then I asked if he would come back (dressed up for the party) before he went so I could take a picture. He rolled his eyes, grinned and said "We'll see!" He did come over for a picture ... and he has never liked having his picture taken ... so it meant a lot to me!

All my kids make me thankful that I am a Mom! And my Mom makes me thankful, on Mother's Day ... because of her, I knew how to raise them, how to love them, unconditionally! Thanks Kristian, Zach and Megan for allowing me to Mother you! And Happy Mother's Day, Mom ... thanks for teaching me how to be a good Mom!!! And Michael ... thank you for my children and your love!

Hugs,
Lisa

Peace & Quiet & Blessings

It's early on Saturday morning. I've been up for a bit already ... ate my Cheerios, read the paper and read my devotion. Mike and Kristian are still sleeping. I'm sitting in the living room and the peace and quiet is overwhelming. All I can hear is the low hum of the refrigerator, the chirping of the birds outside and the clicking of my nails on the keyboard. No television. No radio. Just quietness.

And as I look around what catches my eye is the sunlight that casts shadows off the trees while at the same time shines glimmers of light on the leaves and through the front window. Isn't that sometimes how life is? There are shadows of things that might not be going exactly as we hoped or planned, yet we know that there is a glimmer of light ... a ray of hope if we can endure. I am feeling and seeing more of the latter today. The light, the hope, the blessings!

Honestly, life is good! I am blessed with a husband who loves me unconditionally and whose love I return! I have three children who God has entrusted to me, and whom I love with all my heart! I have parents who are alive and still married ... to each other ... and a brother who holds me accountable even from miles away!

Yep ... life is good! I hope you enjoy the day you have ahead of you ... I intend to!

One of my favorite sounds

You know what one of my favorite sounds is? The laughter of my 16-year-old daughter! It simply makes me smile and feel warm. Tonight she had a friend over to be a model for her photography class project. She set up a backdrop and lights, and Mike & I sat on the couch in the living room and just listened to them laugh and giggle ... being exactly how teenage girls are supposed to be ... a little bit silly. We don't know what they were laughing about, but the sound was beautiful! All we ever want for our children is for them to be happy, don't you think? It really is one of the best gifts a mother can receive!

Team effort?

And by team I mean Mike (hubby) and me! This eating thing is making me crazy ... in fact, I am so obsessed with it that all I seem to do is focus on eating, and in turn I am eating more. I am at my heaviest ... and it's frustating!

Mike said he'd like to try and cut out refined sugar or at least cut way back. We tend to like a sweet treat after dinner, after lunch, if we are out for a drive ... you get the picture. The other night I made a pan of brownies. We demolished it, and of course topped it with ice cream (not sugar-free, either.) When we fix pudding or Jello, most of the time it is sugar-free, fat free, so we'll be stocking up on the stuff.

Small group on Sunday nights may be difficult as we always have sweet treats ... and we have many wonderful cooks/bakers. I'll just have to politely decline.

So, this week and weekend we will start clearing out all of the junk sweets, cereals, etc. We'll replace them with apples, oranges, bananas, sugar-free treats, etc.

One goal, one step at a time. Together, perhaps we can do it! Anybody have any tips of how you've succeeded in this battle of the bulge? I'm willing to listen!!

Ever Have Those Days?

Hello ... it's been a while since I've done a post, as my brother so lovingly pointed out ... calling me a slacker! So nice to be loved : ) Hey, at least I know someone is checking it occasionally!

It is 4:20 p.m. on Sunday, and I am feeling a little bit guilty because I chose not to go to small group tonight. They are all quite capable of leading so no worries.

I have been exhausted this week and simply haven't been feeling quite right. I slept 11 hours Friday night ... went to bed at 9ish and got up around 8ish. And I was still tired all day, and fell asleep on the couch reading. My hands have been really bizarre feeling this past week, too ... swelling more than usual and achy/throbbing. Can't think of anything I've done to make them sore ... so will keep a check on them.

I did finally get up yesterday afternoon and finished cleaning out my office space. You can actually see the floor! It had been the catch-all room for cleaning out other rooms. Now I have to get some kilz and prime the walls ... in my infinite wisdom (hint of sarcasm here) I encouraged my daughter to paint it the colors she wanted when it was her room. So, it is currently kelly green with some purple pinstriping and a purple ceiling, and has icky carpet. I want the walls to be antique white; I'm ripping up the carpet and cleaning up the hardwood floor that is under it. And, I have some "fru-fru" furniture to put in it. I want to make it my place of solitude and serenity for writing, thinking, meditating.

Interestingly enough when I walked in there earlier, I was not feeling serene, as Kristian's room is underneath and I could hear her tv. A good set of earphone are going to be a necessity.

Still not going to small group ... that is me trying to convince myself that it's OK to miss once in a while. Not that they won't be OK without me, I'm certain they'll be fine ... the question is will I be OK without going? I guess we'll find out, huh?

Getting ready for a new week. Shouldn't be as busy as last week ... maybe I can be more productive!

Have a great week!!
Lisa